The yearning for love is, quite possibly, the strongest yearning of all. It’s an incredibly powerful force, and people tend to say that it can move mountains and drive people crazy at the same time. However, true love is quite rare. Rare, but not unreachable. You might say that I shouldn’t be talking about love when I haven’t found it yet. That might be true, but I do my very best every day to find it, and I’m certain that I eventually will. At least I’m in a much better place now than I was before, and I have hope and a rejuvenated heart ready to bask someone special in its magic with each heartbeat. But as I mentioned, that wasn’t always the case.
As a child of divorced parents, I didn’t have a loving couple to look up. Everything I knew about love as a child I learned from books, movies, and songs, but that was not the same as witnessing someone’s undying love. After all, all we know about relationships we learn from our parents before we get some experience of our own. But as I didn’t have anyone to look up to, I was even more confused than my peers, especially in my teen and post-teen years. While my friends were going on dates and having their first loves, I focused on school and absolute rebellion. That worked just fine right until college, which is when I realized that I needed a special someone in my life. I felt lonely, distances, and like I was missing out, and I was not happy about it one bit.
Even though I didn’t know much about dating or love in general, I have to admit that I wasn’t as bad at it as I thought I would be, at least not in the first couple of weeks of a relationship. But as soon as things started to be a bit more serious and my girlfriends started developing certain feelings towards me, I would complete lose it! I couldn’t handle the pressure of the whole thing, I felt the need to run away, and I wanted to avoid all chances of hurting someone. You see, I didn’t have a problem with me caring for someone or loving them (although I never felt that way by that point), but I had a problem with someone loving me. It was as though I knew I would eventually disappoint them, let them down, and break their hearts – and that was something I could never live with. So, I ended every relationship I had before my partners got a chance to love me at all. That worked for a couple of years, right until the point when I realized that I was ready to settle down and have kids. But in order to do that, I needed to let someone into my heart and trust myself enough to know that I wouldn’t hurt anyone intentionally, let alone the hypothetical mother of my hypothetical children. However, I also wanted to avoid wasting too much time on someone who wasn’t
The One, thinking that I had already wasted enough time as it is. So I chose to turn to online dating, modern world’s favorite romance tool. Getting started on a local online dating community was not hard at all, yet, finding a potential life partner proved to be quite the challenging task. But I guess that all things that are hard to get are worth the extra effort, and I can say with certainty that my girlfriend was definitely worth it. It took some hard wooing and a lot of unanswered messages, but she finally gave in and gave me a chance. I like to think she doesn’t regret it, although you can never be sure with her! All jokes aside, Let’s Love managed to help me out when I couldn’t help myself, and I will be forever thankful.