Even the Shakespeare’s Othello wasn’t enough to provide us an answer to “what is cuckold” question. Luckily, there were a few sexuality studies and good ol’ Mr. Freud that came to us precisely when we needed them.
What Is Cuckold: Forbidden Fantasies And The People Who Enjoy Them
“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. That cuckold lives in bliss,
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger:
But O, what damnèd minutes tells he o’er
Who dotes, yet doubts, suspects, yet strongly loves!
William Shakespeare, Othello
Centuries have passed, and the term of cuckold overgrow its initial meaning, which was “the husband of an adulteress”. Nowadays, if we asked a question “What is cuckold?”, the most suitable would be to tell it defines a husband who is sexually aroused by watching his ol’ lady canoodles with another man (sorry, Shakespeare). Moreover, the derivation of the word cuckold, the cuckoldry, stands for a erotic fantasy that is not so unusual these days. Namely, there are many men out there who crave precisely this form of a sexual humiliation… Well, most of them in secrecy. In our opinion, it certainly has a lot of do with the Freudian issues that took deep roots in psychological background of a cuckold.
A secret fantasy
Sometimes, it all remains in the domain of secret fantasies, and the male often gets off while thinking about his wife getting it with another guy. Some guys are even turned on by the thought that their better half causes a significant number of erections, and the thought itself creates a tremendous stimulation effect. This is considered a mild form of cuckoldry but it could still potentially pass to the sphere of reality, if the wife is in the mood to fulfill her husband’s desires, of course. According to the Dr. Susan Block, the author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure: “Many happy cuckolds are also voyeurs, and their wives or girlfriends might be exhibitionists,” so this could definitely be a good explanation why a woman agrees to do participate in these sorts of sexcapades.
Is cuckoldry a tenable lifestyle?
There are many examples of cuckoldry agreements that started good at first, but at some point, everything would start to fall apart. You wouldn’t suspect this sort of an outcome, would you, especially because the cuckold and his wife are considered to have a great communication (which is certainly one of the perks of cuckold lifestyles). Further, you would be mislead to believe that everything is conducted flawlessly and with a mutual consent. Hell, even the experienced psychologists and psychiatrists such as Dr. David J. Ley, the author of the study Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them, believe it’s theoretically possible:
“For couples who make this work, the woman also finds excitement, fulfillment, and stimulation from the sexual exploration of the taboo”
On the other hand, the risk of a downfall still exists, and it most often occurs when the both sides aren’t completely frank about their expectations. For example, a wife might be fine with her husband’s demands for some time and then decide that she doesn’t feel completely comfortable while the husband could be cooperative at first by saying they could stop whenever they feel like it, but in the end, he would realize that he is not turned on by vanilla sex anymore which would consequently lead to a divorce.
Put it to the test first
While fantasizing about something stays within a domain of undisputed imagination where you don’t have to worry about the consequences, the reality is slightly different. It is highly recommended to start experimenting with the whole cuckoldry thing first, in order to get a clue of how it might look like. This can be easily achieved by a steamy role playing or some other similar game. Keep in mind that the everything needs to be consensual so that the entire thing could work for the both sides. On the other hand, assessing the entire situation wisely by reading your partner’s body language could help with coming to the conclusion if they are really into it or just want to please you (even though they might be persistent and keep saying they are okay with it). You are probably aware that doing it just for the sake of the one partner’s pleasure is plainly wrong and therefore you should stop insisting on it if you discover even the smallest sign of disapproval.
Do you believe it’s possible to have a happy marriage while enjoying the cuckold lifestyle? We’d really like to hear from you!